Did you know that Maybelline has a new cosmetic product for Valentine's Day?  It's called Valentine's Day Massacara.

What did the insulator say to the electron who was trying to leave the battery? He said, "Get back in your cell!"

You think you know it. Butt you don't.

It’s the first day of school, a college professor enters his classroom and says to all of his students, “I just want you all to know…” then breaks WIND loudly and obtrusively. About an hour after class, the Dean calls the professor into his office and says, “Professor Morgan, I understand you disrupted your class today by passing gas loudly and without apology, in front of your class.” The professor responds with smug satisfaction, “Yes I did.” The dean responds, “ yes… well don’t you think you’re putting the fart before the course?”