BuzzzZzzzz.zz.z.zz.

A fly lands in a toilet bowl. Another fly lands beside him and says, "Man, I hate the sides of these things, they're so slippery!" The other fly replies, "Ya, but you know what really pisses me off?".... wait for it...

Politicians

A group of politicians were preparing to board a luxury ship.  5 Republicans were already standing on the dock as 10 Democrats started down the walk-way.  Suddenly, the dock collapses and the republicans drop into the water.  A structural engineer is later called in to determine the cause of the collapse.  Upon being asked why he thought the dock collapsed he replied, “well isn’t obvious?  Too much liberal pier pressure.”

Flies

Two flies had been standing around all day.  The first fly says, "Man my legs are killing me."  The second replies, "ya mine too, I'm going to go find a stool."

A new Drone!

Today General Atomics, who makes the Predator Drone, announced a much smaller version of the Predator Drone, this model, is designed to survey schoolyards and play grounds for anything suspicious and this model is called, "The Child Predator".

Did you know that Maybelline has a new cosmetic product for Valentine's Day?  It's called Valentine's Day Massacara.

What did the insulator say to the electron who was trying to leave the battery? He said, "Get back in your cell!"

You think you know it. Butt you don't.

It’s the first day of school, a college professor enters his classroom and says to all of his students, “I just want you all to know…” then breaks WIND loudly and obtrusively. About an hour after class, the Dean calls the professor into his office and says, “Professor Morgan, I understand you disrupted your class today by passing gas loudly and without apology, in front of your class.” The professor responds with smug satisfaction, “Yes I did.” The dean responds, “ yes… well don’t you think you’re putting the fart before the course?”